Let’s Get High & Wasted!

I am such a butter fingers, what I meant was let’s get high waisted.  Wait, what did you think?  Moi?!  How dare you!  You know very well I am an upstanding citizen and I do not condone recreational drug use or over indulging in the alter wine!  My mom reads this blog yo!  If you see her (she goes to Fred Meyer about 13 times a week) I expect an apology to her.  She is a saint and she brought me up better than that!!!!  Sorry I have to be so hard on you guys but no one messes with my mom.


I think the high-waisted silhouette is super feminine and flattering but I also think it allows for the occasional indulgence.  For instance let’s say you, I don’t know, just discovered Ritz Toasted Chips.  Maybe you start watching a Real Housewives marathon and three hours later the box is gone.  (I mean 8.1 ounces is really not that much so I don’t think this is such a far fetched story.)  So after all that salt a person, any person, probably someone you don’t know, has a craving for something sweet so they drive to the nearest gas station like an addict on their way to a fix and completely, by accident, take out one of those signs that says “Kids At Play”.

To be fair to this anonymous person those things can really jump out at you!  Off the top of my head let’s just guess this person got some Trolli Sour Brite Eggs. ( Yeah, that’s a thing, read a book!)  They might also grab a box of Tropical Dots and some Rollos for good measure.  The next day this complete stranger might spend a good portion of the morning with a massive food hangover for which they will then reach for their high-waisted jeans (when purchased a size to small is basically like Spanx made of jeans.)  When these jeans are later peeled off this random gal might have a fleshy imprint of a zipper and pockets on her torso but that is between her and anyone reading this blog.

So let’s talk about my go to jeans of the moment, J Brand’s “Maria” High Rise Skinny Jean.  In order to maintain my status as the laziest wannabe blogger I have resulted to just taking selfies into a mirror.  I also cut off my face because I slept for about 2.5 hours last night and no one wants to see that!


See you Tuesday for more boozey banter.  Cheers!

2 comments on “Let’s Get High & Wasted!

  1. I don’t know about being a saint, but I did bring you up better than that!!! I will condone an occasional glass of wine.
    FYI, I only go to Fred Meyer 12 times a week! Thirteen is an unlucky number!
    I like the pants, but do they have some that fit women in their sixties?

  2. Nope, your a saint!

    I’ll give you 12 unless it’s around a holiday then you are at Freddie’s about 3 times a day.

    You could TOTALLY rock the high waisted look, I will hook you up!

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