Thug Life & Canned Wine

They say you do what you know and I know how to sneak food and drinks into anything, anywhere!  (I blame my mom who used stick those microwave popcorn bags in her purse when we went to the movies.  Way to set a good example Janie!)  In school I was the sensei.  No matter how strict the teacher, no matter how prominently the “No Food Or Drinks” signs were displayed, I’d down a Ziplock bag of Cheeze-Its before the pledge with nary a chew to be seen.  I was like a snacking ventriloquist, like a snantriloquist!

While I’m proud of all the places I’ve snuck (I don’t care if “snuck” is not a word because “sneaked” sounds stupid) food and drinks into there is one case in particular that sticks out in my mind.  There was the time I brought an entire bottle of wine into Mama Mia.  Let me help you visualize this.  Me (gross!) belting out “Dancing Queen” between Dixie cups of Cab Franc with a singing voice somewhere between Roseanne Barr and the Janis character from friends.

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